Words Can Never Hurt Me

There is an old children’s saying, “Stick and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” When we were kids we said it after another child insulted us. It was a way to tell them that we weren’t hurt by what they said. Deep down inside we might have admitted to ourselves that what they said did hurt.

Words are powerful and can impact our lives. Proof of this just happened, which cost a person his life. But was it the person who said the words guilty of manslaughter or did the person who received the words commit suicide.

Recently, 20-year old Michelle Carter has been found guilty of involuntary manslaughter and sentenced to 2 ½ years in prison. This is an unprecedented case in that Carter sent texts to her friend, Conrad Roy III, telling him to kill himself. Roy, who was 18, rigged a generator to his pickup truck, jumped in the vehicle and died of carbon monoxide poisoning. The fatal incident occurred in 2014 in Massachusetts. There has never been a case of manslaughter where words alone caused someone’s death.

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Here’s the Problem

If people were deceiving you right to your face would you want to know? That’s not such an unheard of idea. When people talk with each other today it’s common not to say what we mean.

Honey, do these jeans make me look fat?
No.
[It’s your butt that makes your jeans look fat but I can’t say that.]

Would you like to go out again?
Yes.
[He never heard from her again.]

He’s a really great worker.
[I’m glad he’s out of my department. He wasn’t a good employee.]

It’s easier to say what we think someone wants to hear instead of saying what we think. We want to avoid hurting another person or the confrontation that might ensue. We want to get our way so we gloss over the truth. Taking the painless way out is just easier. In our communication  theses practices are common and it’s considered acceptable. It’s delivering a message by using words that hide our true thoughts.

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